07/27/2003 Entry: "You're not gonna believe this"
Posted by Maynard @ 02:20 PM MST

You're not gonna believe this

Not your typical piece of spam.
from: tiesman@chiche.com
subject: Dimensional Warp Generator Needed pgxjk

Hello,

I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me. I am going to need a new DWG unit, prefereably the rechargeable AMD wrist watch model with the GRC79 induction motor, four I80200 warp stabilizers, 512GB of SRAM and the menu driven GUI with front panel XID display.

I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received certification for being safe on carbon based life forms.

In terms of payment:
I dont have any Galactic Credits left. Payment can be made in platinum gold or 2003 currency upon safe delivery of unit. Please transport unit in either a brown paper bag or box to below coordinates on Sunday July 27th at (exactly 3:00pm) Eastern Stand Time. If you miss this timeframe please email me.

42.4845467 & Longitude -71.1576157 and the ground is 101.3' above sea level.

Although those coordinates are a secure guarded area, these channels through email are never secure. Unfortunately it is the only form of communication I have right now. There is a good chance that sombody will try to redirect the signal. The unit must be teleported directly in a way
that nobody will be able to interfere with the transference.

After unit has been sent please email me at: info@federalfundingprogram.com
with payment instructions. Do not reply directly back to this email.

Thank You
blurciz ihf ymxgm

"Secure and guarded"? No crap! That's right on the border between Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan. And 1500 EST on that day is noon where I am. I was in a church meeting then. Besides, I'm not travelling all that way just to give a paper bag to a nutbar who thinks he's a time traveller. "If you miss this timeframe please email me."

I missed the timeframe, but this guy is missing more than just that.

Replies: (2)

So a burning bag of dog poop would be inappropraite?

Posted by Jeremy @ 07/27/2003 09:04 PM MST

Aside: Now I know where to foward my "Webmaster" alias to:
info@federalfundingprogram.com

Posted by Jeremy @ 07/27/2003 09:13 PM MST

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