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02/03/2003 Entry: "Time to check the e-mail..."
Posted by Maynard @ 10:19 PM MST

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SPAM
Time to check the e-mail...

Spammers drive me nuts. They can't spell and can't write, but for some reason they are able to not only make enough money to survive but make enough to thrive. The only redeeming quality about them is, um, wait a second ...

Okay, nothing. But at least we can mock them. As per usual, the spammers resorted to about three general topics, and you can probably guess what they were. Consider yourself forewarned.

Spammer: sha55@abba.zzn.com
Subject: 70th medical breakthrough- medical miracle
Text: Alert: tiii Breakthrough in modern medicine Lose weight while building lean muscle mass and reversing the signs of aging all at once.

Apparently, there have only been 69 previous medical breakthroughs. Ever.

< DELETED >

Spammer: t2315l85@mail.com
Subject: attention: otis
Text: You Have Won A Free Porn Membership!! In An Effort To Increase The Quality Of Traffic On The Internet, A Top Internet Company Has Given Us 1000 Free Porn Memberships ...

Lets see: increase the quality of traffic on the Internet by decreasing the quality of the content. Would someone please track this guy/girl down and tie them to the railroad tracks of the cluetrain?

< DELETED >

Spammer: cevalueaddedsw877@yahoo.com
Subject: Married but lonely people are waiting to be rescued!

Who do I look like? Sir Lancelot?

< DELETED >

Spammer: lb1knobeyw663@yahoo.com
Subject: Blue Pills @ $5.99 per Dose..Make Love Not War 5740WGvh6-606DR-14

Viagra, not Cypher's preferred drug. Then again, if they're paying that much for that pill, maybe they should give their money to a psychologist instead of a pharmacist.

< DELETED >

Spammer: HallaDesisto@webtv.com
Subject: Don't be embarrassed by your small breast size any longer! Up to three cup sizes in as little as a month!

I really wish they would do at least a little market research before sending out crap like this.

< DELETED >

Spammer: gerbilpower@yahoo.com
Attachment: play.exe, 89 KB
Text:
A excite game
This is a special excite game
This game is my first work.
You're the first player.
I expect you would enjoy it.

Not the world's best haiku, or haiku at any rate, but at least they tried (I think).

< DELETED >

Spammer: "People Being Watched By The CIA"
Subject: PROTECT YOUR JOB, PROPERTY, FAMILY, CAR, FRIENDS AND YOUR REPUTATION - BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!

An ad for Stealth Surfing software, from a Russian domain that claims to be someone watched by the CIA. Isn't that the CIA's job? To watch potential enemies and their activities? Why would I want to take their advice on concealment if they're being watched?

< DELETED >

Other Spammers:
i518n1233@aol.com
d414b1304@m3023hIW.excite.com
Lagonia@mail.com
Stieber@anfmail.com

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