And so it begins…
Two people enter, one person leaves.
No, this is not the Thunderdome, this is a miracle. And the two have now become one.
Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Scott Maynard.
It was a marvelous wedding to attend, and I’m a better man for attending it.
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Bells will be ringing…
From the “No This-Isn’t-Matt-Typing” Department
Well, today is the special day that Matt and Jennifer have been waiting for, and we’re all excited. So while I get myself ready, and rested for the Afternoon Wedding, I thought I’d take some time and introduce myself to the Matthew-Maynard-dot-net readership.
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A short programming note
During the honeymoon I will not be posting, since I will have cut myself off from computers as much as possible. Posting will resume on or about June 14th. Look for WIVTWID features on Dred Scott (the judiciary), environment, free speech, and everyone’s favorite, guns. In the meantime, we have a special guest blogger, Jeremy Gilby.
And you thought naugahide was just fake leather. Hah!
FLATEOTM: Honeymoon Edition
QOTM: I thought about giving an economics speech tonight. It really gets me when the critics say I haven’t done enough for the economy. I mean, look what I’ve done for the book publishing industry. – George W. Bush, May 3rd, 2004
(Risque) After returning from his honeymoon in Florida…
… with his new bride Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Cleveland to say hello to his friends. Giovanni said, “Hey Luigi, how wasa da treepa?”
Luigi said, “Everytinga wasa perfecto except for da traina ride down.”
“Whata you mean, Luigi?” asked Giovanni. “Well, we boarda da train at Grana Central Station. My beautiful Virginia, she pack a biga basket a food. She
broughta vino, some nice cigars for me, and we were looking a forward to da trip. Everytinga wasa Okey Dokey until we getta hungry and open upa da luncha basket. The conductore come a by, waga hisa finger at us anda say, ‘no eat in disa car. Musta use a dining car.’
“So, me and my beautiful Virginia, we go to dining car, eat a biga luncha and start to open a bottle of nice a vino! Conductore walka by again, waga hisa finger and say, ‘No drinka in disa car Musta use a club a car.’
“So, we go to club car. While drinkina vino, I start to lighta my bigacigar. The conductore, he waga his finger again and say, ‘No smokina disa car. Musta go to smokina car.’
“We go to smokina car and I smoke a my biga cigar. Then my beautiful Virginia and I, we go to sleeper car anda go to bed. We just about to go boomada boomada and the conductore, he walka through da hall shouting at da top of hisa voice, ‘Nofolka Virginia! Nofolka Virginia!’
“Next time, I’ma gonna take a da bus!!
Pot, this is Kettle. Guess what? YOU’RE BLACK!
A bit old, but still relevant. Besides, Abu Ghraib is still making its way into headlines, so why shouldn’t Nick Berg? Hizbollah Slams Beheading of American as Un-Islamic.
This is really amazing. They slaughter Israelis almost every week, then they have the gall to say that the method of death is not right, as opposed to the act itself? They are hypocrites, plain and simple.
Mutant Beans
I went out this morning to the balcony, as is my new morning routine, and I was shocked, positively shocked, to see something growing that I had actually planted.
A Request
If you are invited to the wedding and have not bought a gift, please consider buying the bedsheets listed on the Target list or the pillows on the Bed Bath & Beyond list. Sleeping together is always nicer if there are sheets. Thank you.
More personality tests
I haven’t had a good listing of these in a while. Today’s bunch of three has a good variety of pigeonholing.
You Might Be A Gun Nut If…
Its amazing that Jeff Foxworthy never really got into the gun stereotype in the heyday of “You might be a redneck if…”. With that in mind, I present “You Might Be A Gun Nut If…”. Hat tip: KDT.